I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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