why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
