Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
