cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
