Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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