isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
