You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
