Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
