she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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