You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
