you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
