ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
