If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
