I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize