Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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