I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
