Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
