He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
