You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
