I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
