can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
