He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
