Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
