i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
