we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
