oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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