tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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