She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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