Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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