youre lurking in front of me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
