i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
