Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
