ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
