you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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