So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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