I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
