I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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