OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have tasted many bathrooms
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize