it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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