No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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