We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
