i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
