you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize