I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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