Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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