I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
