why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
