Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
