It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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