I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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