Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

Fav 23 1327 11735
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.

Fav 8 2738 1583
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(425): View more from Washington

Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

Fav 35 1598 3648
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother

Fav 7 1644 1253
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.

Fav 2 1627 860
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just want cinnabon and vodka.

Fav 0 66 9
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(817): View more from Texas

"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.

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