You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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