i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
