oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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