my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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