at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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