mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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