Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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